"Find Your Marigold"

 "Surround yourself with good people." ~Jennifer Gonzalez

One of my most favorite posts by edu-blogger Jennifer Gonzalez is "Find Your Marigold: The One Essential Rule for New Teachers." In it, she discusses how challenging it can be as a new teacher and illuminates many of the various "roles" individuals take on in a school setting. She warns the new teacher of the walnut trees--the toxic colleagues who make the teaching experience miserable and want nothing more than to suck you in with them. After all, misery loves company, right? She further breaks down the walnut trees into a variety of species. I couldn't help but think about individuals I've worked with over the years that align so perfectly with her descriptions; and, sadly, I could think of at least one person for each one. There sure are quite a few walnut trees.

But I'm still here, and I remain positive and hopeful for the most part. Twenty-four years into my career. And the walnut trees haven't gotten to me yet.

That's because of the marigolds. Gonzalez notes that marigolds are the protectors and the encouragers. Just as we plant marigolds in our vegetable gardens to help our crops grow and bloom, the marigolds in the school are there to support, offer advice, give a hug, and help us weather the storm. I was extremely fortunate to have had many marigolds in my early career. (I should mention that while this is my 24th year in education, it's also the 24th year in the same middle school I started at right after I graduated from college.) 

This was incredibly apparent to me last spring when our staff and our school's retirees gathered with the family of a retired staff member who passed away due to COVID-19. We hosted an outdoor memorial and dedicated a bench to the school, which was installed just outside the office where this staff member worked for decades. I had helped organize the entire event and was aware all of the details. But when I stood there and looked around at this sea of incredible human beings who had helped me get to that very moment, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I realized that if not for all of these strong, dedicated, compassionate, supportive teachers I was so fortunate to work with over the years, I wouldn't be where I am today. It was especially meaningful seeing them having lived through last school year--one chock full of pivoting from remote to hybrid to in-person teaching. On the day of that memorial, I was more exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally than I had even been before, but somehow in that very moment, being surrounded by my marigolds from my early years made it all better. I would liken it to feeling a bit like when you're sick and your mom is there to help you through it and make it all better.

Now that I'm well into my education career, I still have my own marigolds in the school, but I still reach out to the marigolds who helped me build such a solid foundation in my early days. Sadly, some are no longer with us, but their teachings and advice echo in my head when I am faced with a tough situation. After all, a marigold's effect can last a lifetime. 

As I think about Jennifer Gonzalez's incredible blog post, there are two ideas that I would add to the conversation. First, while she notes that it's new teachers that need marigolds, it's really ALL teachers that need marigolds. I'm nearly forty-five years old with quite a few years of teaching under my belt, and I still have moments where I need someone to turn to for support and encouragement. Granted, these moments are few and far between now since so many of the marigold lessons from the past still guide me and I'm fortunate to have experience on my side. Regardless, everyone still needs someone to lean on from time to time. 

The other idea is that at some point, if we've been around long enough and still believe in the magic of the work we do, we finally become a marigold. It's hard to pinpoint precisely when this moment happens. It's not really a specific moment but rather this gradual transformation that happens over a lengthy period of time. Suddenly, I find myself listening to colleagues and helping them navigate stressful situations such as classroom behaviors, difficult parents, or a conflict with a colleague. What's interesting to me is how finding a marigold or being a marigold all gets down to the same things--empathy, understanding, and compassion. The educational landscape continues to evolve--especially with the pandemic--so it's vital that we acknowledge the hardships educators face today while work together to move forward.

"Find your marigold"...or BE a marigold.